It has been shockingly announced today that the Galway-Mayo Institute of Technology is to close its doors to new entrants from April 2016, in order to combat the influx of incomprehensible Mayo farmers.
Department of Education spokesperson Belinda Hynes confirmed the news saying, "sadly it is true. We have fought and fought this, but due to pressure from the Government we have to make this hard decision."
 
Up to two jobs are expected to be lost as cooking instructor Steve and caretaker/lecturer Dominic are to be let go.
 
Mayo native, boy racer and habitual spitter Glen Burke, who was due to attend the college in 2016 to do some "welding chat" has blasted the decision.
 
"Ah lads hi, feckin’ shtory man. I’ve to do something or the auldlad will have me bet. Me Civic won’t pay for itself hi," he stated, while speeding away slowly.
 
Story courtesy of Galway Daily News.