Don't want to follow the news? Bluff it.

Here are five things to preetend to know this Friday.

Apple of my eye

The new Apple 5C, the cheaper version of the famous handset will apparently be scratch resistant according to a number of online technology sites.  The C stands for colour rather than cheaper.  The plebs are finally being trusted with iPhones, though apparently not to be able to look after them enough.  Lovely idea apple but until you make a phone that can swim, I won’t be thoroughly impressed.

Lovely Limerick

Limerick minor hurling manager Jerry Wallace has said that the Hawk-Eye mistake has been “traumatic” for his players.  Hang on there; are you telling me that a group of young lads from Limerick has been left traumatised by a bad call in a GAA match?  Have you ever been to Limerick?  You see more traumatic things walking to mass on a Sunday, let alone a night out in Limerick city.  Honestly, kids these days….

Born in the USA

A father in America has been kicked out of a football stadium and threatened with arrest after asking his 15 year old son to hold his beer. The man was with his son watching the Arizona cardinals when the “incident” took place.  Why is this considered an incident?  Fair question, the teen wasn’t even drinking the beer, as hard as that is to believe.  You have to love the Yanks, the land of the free and the home of the criminally stupid.  

HMV back

In what was a piece of genuine good news for the country, HMV has announced that it will reopen four of its stores, creating 120 jobs.  The stores will open Liffey Valley, Dundrum Shopping Centre, Henry Street and in Limerick’s Crescent Hill Shopping Centre.  As of yet, there are no plans to reopen their flagship store on Grafton Street, though the opening of other stores will be considered based on the performances of the initial four.  

Harry has no style

Harry Styles has admitted that he once stole soap from Johnny Depp’s bathroom.  The One Direction star added that he only did it to have something to remember the occasion by.  Or maybe he’s trying to get rid of his squeaky clean image…  Horrible puns aside, what exactly has happened to the music industry, The Who threw televisions out of hotel windows and drove cars into swimming pools.  Harry Styles stole some soap, and they say Rock and Roll is dead.